The best part of Saturday mornings is the pace. We wake rested, rise slowly, and have the time to bake. My go-to is Cinnamon Bun Scones, a recipe I found nearly two decades ago. But these days, while I'm cutting this and that, I have to get more creative, Thus this past weekend's treat: Strawberry Coconut Flour Muffins. Whether you're eating grains or not, you can still bake a little bit of self-care on Saturday and summer mornings.
Cinnamon Bun Scones
(as published in Austin American Statesman)
Preheat to 425
In mixer combine (until a course meal)
2 c flour (works with gluten-free flour)
1 c oatmeal
1/4 c sugar
1 Tbsp baking powder
1/4 tsp salt
Cut in 1 stick of cold butter, cut into small pieces.
Combine 3/4 c milk, slightly beaten egg, 1 tsp vanilla,
Add wet and dry ingredients, stir until just moistened.
Mix 2 Tbsp. sugar and 2 tsp cinnamon (and 1/2 chopped pecans if you want them)
Gently stir into batter. Drop in 1/4 cup dough, 2 inches apart on cookie sheet
Bake 11-13 minutes
While baking mix 3/4 cup powdered sugar with 2-3 tsp orange juice, drizzle over scones. Makes 12 scones.
Strawberry Coconut Flour Muffins
(original recipe, grain-free, sugar-free, gluten-free)
Preheat oven to 350, grease or line muffin tin.
1/2 cup Coconut Flour
1/4 cup Almond Flour
1/4 cup coconut sugar
2 tsps. baking powder
1/4 tsp. salt
1/2 cup coconut oil
When blended, fold in about 6 strawberries, cut into small pieces. Fill muffin tins about half-full. Keep in the refrigerator after baked. Makes about 12.
Bake for 12-14 minutes.
This word, people. Expectations.
Can we talk a little about expectations? Man oh man, this has been rattling around in my head all week.
It started with that ole Mother's Day inquiry... "So, what are we doing on Mother's Day?" And then, the house blew up.
Figuratively. Okay, in my head. My mental house exploded in my head because I clearly had ideas that I had not chosen to communicate to my partner and he DID NOT ANSWER CORRECTLY. I got the WRONG answer. In my head, I had ideas about what I wanted, what I needed, what would be fun, what I DID NOT want to do.
Do you do that thing where you drop 100 hints throughout the year and then decide your husband doesn't love you/is a jackass/is insensitive because he doesn't pick up on them?
Or that thing where you clearly know what you want but don't say it because it "means more" if he figures it out on his own.
Let me tell you a secret.
Love does not equal mindreading.
Swear. It doesn't. But so many of us have this idea that IF HE CAN TELL what we want then we are "seen" or we are "loved" or we are "valued." What's your word in that fill-in-the-blank?
Okay, so here's the doozy, and I'm not blaming, I'm just saying...
When our expectations do not match up with reality, we suffer.
Now, you may actually have an insensitive jack-ass partner who doesn't really love you, or maybe an insensitive jack-ass partner who does love you, and even when you ask for what you want you don't get it. Unfortunately, that's another blog post.
What I'm talking about is what gets in the way of us asking for what we want. Why we have an idea that mindreading means we are more loved. Why catching our subtle cues about what gift we want means we are more seen...
What if... we ASK for what we want, and our partner responds to that.
Doesn't that sound good? Asking for what we want and getting it?
But so often we are scared of asking and being disappointed we keep quiet, we hint, we hope, but our expectations stay high... and inevitably we are disappointed.
When our expectations do not match up with reality, we suffer.
This isn't just about Mother's day. This is about all the ways we create places of suffering in our lives when our expectations don't match up with what is realistic.
I want you to have a fantastic Mother's day. I really, in my bones, do.
What would it be like to ask for what you need?
"You know, honey, I really want to sleep in Can you take the kids to the park for four hours Sunday morning so I can sleep?"
"Hey babe, I really don't want to deal with crowds. Can you make dinner Sunday and watch the kids while I go to the gym?"
What would it be like to be clear? Crystal clear. Yes, you could be disappointed. You might still not get what you want. But! You might! You might give your partner the help and support they need to support you.
And that -- that would feel amazing.
by Alissa Leenher
My favorites gifts have always been those which cannot be wrapped. They are gifts that say, "I see you. I am listening." They may or may not come on any appointed day, but their value is intrinsic and enduring.
I have been in several stores this week and, everywhere you look, there are marketing sections centered around Mother's Day. I watched the crowds swell in front of the card section yesterday as I made a return. Pre-made bouquets line the checkout lines and I shudder to think of the jewelry store budgets. To what end?
Most mothers that I know, mine included, just want extra hugs and a day off from dishes. We love the handmade cards from our children and the gratitude and care from our spouses, but that is all we need. (And let's be honest, some pink bubbles don't hurt.)
But I know that I am one of the lucky ones. Anne Lamott posted a rant on her Facebook page last year about the holiday. And while her stance is more extreme than mine, it solidified some of the notions I have been having this week. I have been acutely aware of the pain that accompanies this, and many holidays, for people I love dearly.
I have friends who have lost mothers in recent years; the pain, which is always there, is magnified.
I have other friends who had mothers that they would not choose to celebrate, the disappointment palpable.
I have friends who see the window of opportunity closing. They wanted to have children but are now understanding that age is working against them.
I have friends who have lost children, in pregnancy and years later. I cannot imagine the hole that will never be filled.
I have watched the avoidance, the cues, the attempts to put on a happy face from those that have not been able to have children, despite years of trying.
One woman I love more than life told me, "It is a sadness that never really goes away...people ask you ask the time, do you have kids? And you always have to answer no...it hurts a little every time."
To all of these friends, I see you and I am listening.
George McDonald said, "If instead of a gem, or even a flower, we should cast the gift of a loving thought into the heart of a friend, that would be giving as the angels give."
This Mother's Day, I am so grateful for the gifts my mother gave me. I am grateful for the children I have been given. I am grateful for my friends and family.
I want you to know that you are seen, you are loved, and I am listening.
Find the full post originally published on my blog, SAHMmelier.